Firsts

Life is full of firsts. First birthday. First day of school. First date. First piano recital. First kiss. First interview. First trip abroad. First day of work.

I remember most of these pretty vividly.

The first day of Kindergarten, when I had to say goodbye to my parents and venture onto that big yellow school bus alone, and I got off at the wrong stop and had no idea what to do except cry, clutching against my chest an unopened box of tissues, my contribution to the classroom.

I remember my first piano recital, when I was too young to understand what nervousness was, and I loved my new dress and the matching barrettes my mother put in my hair, and I was exhilarated by the audience and my fingers jumped way too high in the air as I pounded out “Pop Goes The Weasel.”

There was the first time I went in for a job interview, and the uncomfortable black suit I wore despite the heat, and the awkwardness that shrouded me as I tried to appear confident, answering questions that I desperately wished I could have predicted and prepared for.

And one memory most clear in my mind is the first time I went to live abroad, when I left my family and friends behind so I could go explore Shanghai and make a new home for myself, so I could find a new independence and strength in that metropolitan jungle.

Sometimes these firsts are pretty amazing.  You have no idea what to expect and you find yourself pleasantly surprised.  Other times these firsts are pretty damn awful.  Maybe you build up expectations when you have no precedents to benchmark against and you end up really disappointed.

Yeah, life is filled to the brim with firsts.  But what’s important for us to remember is: no matter how good or bad these firsts are, there will always be what comes next.