Well. November was a tough month. I’m so glad it’s December.
I was on a roll with NaNoWriMo, totally in love with my new project, and averaging 2k to 3k words a day…until the election.
I’ve never felt so incredibly, hopelessly dark. My productivity crashed to a halt. I really wish I could be the type of person who writes furiously in my bouts of depression, but I’m not. I’m the type of person who consumes chocolate in unhealthy quantities and then buries myself under a pile of blankets and tries to sleep away the days until the world has fixed itself.
And well. The world is not fixing itself. Finally the despair began to fade and the rage took over. And I crawled out of my blankets and started to make phone calls. I hate the phone. I especially hate talking to strangers on the phone. But I know I need to do my part.
I barely managed to finish NaNoWriMo. It was like pulling teeth. I’m not sure many of the words I wrote post-election will be usable. It’s a mess — much more so than NaNoWriMo usually is. My brain definitely was not operating at its best.
The walls of the Union Square subway station are covered in post-it notes, messages from the people of our heartbroken city sharing their despair and their hope and their reminders of strength. Every time I walk through there I feel inspired, and I shed a bit more of that darkness and weight. We will get through this.
I have to remind myself that November brought some good, too. I finished my kids yoga teacher training. I finished my prenatal yoga teacher training. Teaching prenatal has become one of my favorite things. There’s this magic there in that space with those beautiful women and their beautiful babies.
I saw Hamilton: An American Musical, and I was blown away and I sobbed and wished I could go see it again and again and again.
Oh, and I nearly forgot. I do have a bit of good news to share: I’m going to be an artist-in-residence at Djerassi for a month next year! I’m not sure yet which project I’ll be working on when I go. But the timing is good. It’s soon after the final manuscript of TACOA is due, and I have this romantic notion of drafting an entire new book from start to finish during that period.
This week I also received my second edit letter, so now I get to switch gears and go back to editing. Thank goodness for that — I am more than ready to be in revision mode again. First drafting is so incredibly painful. Time to duck back into the cave and roll up my sleeves. Here’s hoping that December is a better month.